I started picking a word of the year when I was 16. I got really tired of my new year's resolutions being "stop biting nails" and "practice piano more" (spoiler: she did not, dear reader, stop biting her nails or practice piano more). So I decided I was dOnE with resolutions. And I chose a word. I would then remind myself of that word frequently through the year and try and live by it.
Over the last month of 2023, I was sent an increasing number of memes of (and took part in an increasing number of conversations involving) the audacity of men. That word kept cropping up. Audacity. It took root in my brain and I heard it echo every time I apologised for something unnecessary or every time I tried to combat my ever increasing imposter syndrome. I saw people putting up projects or trying things out for which they seemed underprepared. My brain would think "how are they", "Why are they", "why can't I?". AND there's the rub.
Why can't I?
No reason whatsoever. I, indeed, can. What I felt I needed was to be more audacious.
We are almost three weeks in to 2024 and it's hard. I do not feel audacious. But I am enjoying this mantra. It gives me something quick and easy to use when I the voices get a little loud. AUDACITY. I can do it. Don't tell me I can't.
For strange aer lingus reasons, I accidentally ended up in Dublin for the day. I've always wanted to go and here I was, by myself, with no agenda apart from my whims (hard 'h' please, wHims). I googled, I got recommendations, and I created a little walking tour. I started by taking myself out to a fancy lunch WITH a cocktail and then I wandered. Whimsically. One of my stops was the Oscar Wilde Memorial. I have been fascinated with him and all his plays since I chose to look at his depiction of women in comedy for my Extended Essay (you are indeed currently reading the work of an IB survivor). So I took myself (whimsically - last one, I promise) over to his statue. And TO MY DELIGHT, this is the memorial I found:
Is that not just perfect? I thought a very fitting tribute in a world where tributes are so often boring and lifeless. And you know what he looks like?
So when it becomes a little difficult, or I need a little oomph, I will think of this statue and channel audacity.