• Steph

some thoughts in january

Updated: Apr 13


In our first meeting of the year, we were discussing what to write for these upcoming blogs and we decided to start out on a positive note. In all honesty, right now I don’t want to write about positive things. I am quite grumpy, I’ve found it hard to motivate myself to get outside, and I am not feeling creative in the least. Do not be fooled by the smiling picture. That was taken 10 months ago.


I guess that’s why deadlines and goals can be good for us. I also guess that I will probably feel better after making this list – even though my cynical brain is scoffing at me as I type this. Charlotte’s blog last week listed five things that she was grateful for/had gained from last year. 2020 does feel like a bit of a black hole and I find it takes energy to remember events or to think about what happened.

But here goes!


1) Spending time with family.

My family situation is rather unique. My brother – until recently – lived in South Africa, my Dad in France, my Mom in South Korea, my fiancé in Boston, and me in the UK. It’s a strange situation. When borders closed last year (as they should’ve – it was an important measure!) my heart broke. I was separated from family in a way that I had never been before. However, because of this bizarre situation, when I did get to see family it was for long stretches of time. So in 2020, I was able to spend two consecutive months with my family, three months with my fiancé. Considering all of these are usually long distance relationships with a week here or there, this was incredible. A lot of thinking and reprioritising came about for me in those months.


2) I wrote a play!

I wrote a whole play! And this one had more than one person in it. It had been a goal that I set out for the year. Now I was not writing every day. I barely wrote a word for the first three months of 2020. I am also definitely not one of those people who gets up at 6am and writes 2000 words before breakfast. When lockdown hit, I wanted to give myself an achievable goal. I decided that Wednesday would be my writing day. So I wrote – just one day a week. Normally one scene a day (and sometimes not even that). But I stuck to it. You know what works best for you. Maybe you can write every day but I am here to say that’s not what happened for me and the end result was the same. I wrote a whole piece! I am quite proud of myself – can you tell?


3) Running.

I have been running off and on for about 5 years. Never more than a 10k and that was a stretch. I was not – I repeat, WAS NOT – a sporty human in school. I discovered the outdoors when I was about 20. Running started with one run a week. Last year, for reasons I still can’t fathom, I decided to set myself the goal of running a half marathon. So, during lockdown, I ran. Usually early in the morning to avoid any people. I discovered as I broke through the 10k and then 15k barrier that I loved it. My body takes about 6k to warm up which is many kilometres. They are a struggle. But once I get through that – wow, it’s amazing. I find a silence that my chattering brain desperately needs. I don’t always run long. But I do now find time to run. And I am actually gearing up to start training for another half marathon.


I know Charlotte did five but I am going to leave it there. I’ve given myself food for thought. And you know what, oh cynical brain of mine, I do actually feel better.


So what’s on your list?