returning to edinburgh

It has been six years (SIX!) since I have taken a show to the Ed Fringe. It both feels like a lifetime ago and like it was yesterday.

look at me! a little baby!

In 2019, with absolutely zero idea as to what I was doing, I decided to take my solo show to Edinburgh with a good friend of mine directing it. What a choice that was! It was an absolute whirlwind - both good and bad - yet, it led to so many opportunities (the birth of Very Rascals being one of them) that I can't regret it. Thinking back on it now, I think one of the biggest takeaways was learning to just back myself. I remember distinctly feeling like saying the words "I am an actor" felt closer and closer to being true. As I am packing my bags, I thought this would be an appropriate time to reflect on three things I am excited about on this new Fringe adventure:

1) The pie shop

I moved from the UK to the US two years ago and I haven't been back, so there are a couple of food items that I am DREAMING about. However, Edinburgh-specific, there is a pie shop off the Royal Mile where the pies were £2.50 (although this has probably changed - I shall report back!) and I went there many many times during the month of fringe adventures in 2019. I am unreasonably excited about the many pies in my future.

BUT STEPH YOU ARE GLUTEN-FREE NOW

Do not remind me.

I was not in 2019. But I will take one for the team (and by team I mean my digestive system) and have a pie anyway.

2) Being in a cast of three

Last time, when I went, I was doing a solo show. Yes, I had an absolutely wonderful director and the two of us took on the Fringe world together, but I was alone on stage. And also - as he should - he went off and saw other shows and did not watch the same thing every day. So a lot of the time I was alone at the theatre, I was alone getting ready, I was alone in the bows, and I was alone in that post-show moment. I found it lonely. This is not a unique experience - it can be common in solo show work. And there were some wonderful times. However, HOWEVER, I am thrilled to be going back and having two people on stage with me. I am really excited to create and share in those moments together.

It's Beautiful, Over There (image: Eleonora Kouneni)

3) Not a rookie anymore

My first Ed Fringe was overwhelming. It was exciting, it was terrifying, there were ups, there were downs. I constantly felt like I was running and doing one of those beep tests but consistently missing the beep. I couldn't catch up. There were so many shows to see, so much flyering to do, so much theatre world with which to engage. And I WAS TIRED. The show I was doing was pretty personal and quite emotionally intense and I found myself exhausted in the mornings. Towards the end of the run, I would struggle to get out of bed, text people back, work on other projects. I could only tunnel vision and focus on the task at hand. I KNOW how that feels now. I am not new. This is not my first. I am excited to go into this experience knowing that I have to take it slow, knowing that self-care is important, knowing that I might not be able to do or see everything. And that takes the pressure off a little.